So, hello old me!
Now you're a
You may not believe me, but I've comeback to KPop after being betrayed by the disbandment of TVXQ back then. I need my emotional support KPop Boy, after all, to get through my day.
The 21-year-old me also won't believe that I'm working in Lampung, hundreds of miles away from Jakarta. I've taken a leap of faith in working in a rural area instead of big cities where I spent almost all of my life.
Things have been hard. The food here sucks. However, I can learn a lot here. I met so many people who have such diverse personality. Especially all my LEAP companion, we have a quite strong bond. 20 of us are stranded here in the middle of nowhere, we have no one except ourselves to survive, so we depend and help each other the best that we can. Of course, disagreement happens but we try our best to solve it together.
Rather than furthering my knowledge or some kind of personal development, I think I learn more about co-existing with others.
Lately, I'm very jealous of this friend of mine. She's pretty, smart, kind, hmm maybe all the things that men ever wanted. Every time she talks everyone is so invested.
I'm very pissed at her I even muted her tweets. When will this toxic side of mine disappear? Or is this a permanent thing that all humanity has? I don't know why am I writing this, maybe to sort out my thought. I guess it helped, kinda.
I have to be grateful for what I have, I know. I have to count all my blessing.
However, the scary thought that everyone hates me. That I'm not good enough to be their friend is terrifying.
Try to grow up, self. This life is not all about you.
Somehow I wonder about this statement. Why can't we want happiness for ourselves more than someone's else's happiness?
I don't think I need someone else's happiness. Why must it matter to us?
I'm really rambling now. I pushed all the people who say that they like me. Nothing new. 3 years later and nothing new.
