I just had to write this down.
So, yesterday, I saw you a side of me that you didn't know before. The uglier side of me, but still me, nonetheless. I fear your reaction so, at first, I tried to runaway from it. Run from showing myself, be myself. But then, the chance never came and by some twisted kind of fate you end up witnessing it.
I... had imagined the worst. Imagined you would become so repulsed, so disgusted that what we have, this thin line, will break forever. The first 12 hours after that moment had been the proved. There were nothing from you, nothing, nothing at all, and it broke me. I feel like my worst nightmare has come true.
I tried to accept it, tried to reason myself that you deserved this, Self, you deserve it.
However, the desperate, attention-seeking part of me won't let that. Drown in my misery, I just had to write that status down. The blanched status that made me feel that, I am, indeed, an attention seeking wench. No one would care, this would be another scroll by post, but he didn't do that.
Instead, we finally talk like the usual, like the yesterday's incident never happened. Like the radio-silence never happened. I don't want to be broken, fixed only by your attention, but I think I already am, and I hate it. Hate this pitiful side of me who promised won't fell to deep but look now?
